What to say about Nigel Farage? He’s almost beyond satire. An English name pronounce as if it were French, and a German wife….well
When I was just a candidate
I asked my agent
“Who shall I be?
Plain Nigel Farridge, common as muck?
Here’s what he said to me:
“Say Farage – Farage!
It’s got a nice ring, y’agree
It sounds a bit French, you see
Say Farage, Farage
You’ll be great, you’ll see
When I became an MEP
I asked my lover
“How will it be?
Will I ever hear English, spoken on trains?”
Here’s what she said to me (Mein Liebchen…)
[Annie enters – in horned helmet- to the tune of Ride of the Valkyries]
Ach Farage Farage
Was auch immer sein wird, wird sein
Die Zukunft ist nicht unsere zu sehen
Ach Farage Farage
Was sein wird, wird sein
When I came up to Edinburgh
The punters booed me (….Yes!)
I had to hide (I had to hide… in a pub)
I asked the landlord “What’s going on?”
Here’s what he said to me:…
“Oh Farage, Farage
We don’t want your sort, you see
We don’t want UKIP
Oh Farage, Farage
UKIP away from me
Now that election time is here
I’ll tell the voters
“Here’s what I see…
“Hordes of Rumanians, day after day”
And here’s what they’ll say to me…
“Hail Farage, Farage
Our future is plain to see
Lead us to our Destiny
Hail Farage, Farage
UKIP and liberty”
“Oh Farage, Farage
Our future is plain to see
Lead us to our Destiny
Hail Farage, Farage”
At this point Annie comes in dressed as a nurse a white coat and leads “Nigel” off
© Les Morss