Bad Times are Just around the Corner
as Noel Coward might have written had he still been around
They're nervous in the Netherlands
And terribly tense in Ghent
They're afraid in Belgrade
That their Euro trade
Has suddenly upped and went!
They're scared in Scandinavia
And feeling the pain in Spain
They're gutted in Greece
and the riot police
Are out on the streets again.
In Ireland they're all greeting
Into their whisky sours
Their toxic debt's a global threat
We're having to give them ours!
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
Austerity's here to stay
There are bad times just around the corner
The Eurozone has gone from bad to worse
In Leichtenbourg and Luxemstein
They ask each other all the time
“Is it Europe that's all mixed up or is it all just us?”
From the Baltic to th' Atlantic
There's increasing signs of panic
And the French are going swimming in the merde- iterranean
We're going to unpack our troubles from our old kit bag
And wait until we drop down dead
They're ang-ery in Hungary
In Riga they're raising Cain
There are tanks in Gdansk and a run on the banks
We're bailing them out again
In Rome there's no more bunga-bungary
Lithuania's all at a loss
It's grim in Gibraltar
And don't mention Malta
It's full of the Maltese — Cross!
The Pope up in the Vatican
He's now got his dinner fixed
He's just decided that he can
Make a nice Eggs -it - Benedict!
Hurray Hurray Hurray
Suffering and dismay
There are bad times just around the corner
This is just the start of something worse
They tell us we must have austerity
We're doing it all for posterity
Well, I ask you, what has posterity every done for us?
When the merde hits the fan
We'll be ready to a man
To retire and pull the blankets over our head
We're going to unpack our roubles from our UKIP bag
And wait until we drop down dead
They're filled with ennui in England
They're ever so cross in Crete
In Bucharest they're all so depressed
They're frightened to cross the street
They're paralysed in Poland
The Czechs have all bounced into touch
The Danes are all cursing Hollande
(That's Francois - not the Dutch!)
There's rioting in Rumania
The Poles are up the Pole
And where's that Celtic tiger?
He's gone to collect his dole!
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
A triple dip's here to stay!
There are bad times just around the corner
We can all look forward to despair
And as the vultures circle,
It's clear even to Merkel
That we can't save the Euro and we don't much care!
As the blues and the greens
And the colours in-between
Have all noticed that the East is rising red
We'd better all learn the lyrics of the Chinese anthem
And wait until we drop down dead
A likely story!
Land of Hope and Glory
Wait until we drop down dead!
©Les Morss