NEW – Arlene/Jolene

When Theresa May was humiliated in the May 2017 election and had to plead with the DUP’s Arlene Foster to form a coalition, what a pity she didn’t have Dolly Parton to help her plead her case.

With thanks to Playing Politics for the idea – I hope I didn’t nick too many of their words

ARLENE (to the tune of Dolly Parton’s Jolene)

Arlene, Arlene, Arlene, Arlene
I’m begging of you please don’t wreck my plan
Arlene, Arlene, Arlene, Arlene
Don’t bring my gov’nment down because you can

I love that sexy Belfast scowl
The “No surrrender” that you growl
The way you sneer at anything that’s green
I’ll dress up in a Sunday suit
With bowler hat and sash to boot
I’ll even learn to play the flute, Arlene

I’ll give you anything you need
I’ll shake that magic money tree
Just say that you will be my friend, Arlene
We’ll be as close as anything
I’d even wear your wedding ring
But you don’t like that kind of thing, Arlene

Arlene, Arlene, Arlene, Arlene
I’m begging of you please don’t wreck my plan
Arlene, Arlene, Arlene, Arlene
Don’t send me packing just because you can

There’s nothing I won’t give to you
A nice new airport, HS2,
Could terminate at Belfast, my Arlene
A bridge across the Irish Sea
Is not a bridge too far for me
And all I ask are your MP’s, Arlene

Three Orangemen enter (to represent Ulster DUP’s): (to the tune of Rosegarden by Lynn Anderson)

We beg your pardon  – You don’t fool us by singing Dolly Parton
You’re out of order   –  You surely promised us a hard border
Don’t give us moonshine  – You know for Ulster this is payback time
When you take you gotta give and give or out you go
Oh woe woe woe
So hey big spender
The DUP’s last word is “NO SURRENDER”

Arlene, Arlene, Arlene, Arlene
I’m begging of you please don’t wreck my plan
Arlene, Arlene, Arlene, Arlene
Don’t send me packing just because you can

©Les Morss 2017