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Bullingdon Buddies – 2017 version

Three of our notable Tory leaders – or ex-leaders now – Boris Johnson, George Osborne, and David Cameron  – are alumni of the University of Oxford where they established their credentials not only as properly hard-working students but also as potential government leaders by joining the notorious hell-raising Bullingdon Club, complete with yellow waistcoats and tail coats. Here’s our take on this Tory trinity, to the tune of Burlington Bertie  as sung below by the ummistakeable Stanley Holloway:

Old pals – a fraternity
Pals- Tory trinity
Cocks of the walk, talking the talk
Living on guff and hot air
We’re Dave, George and Boris and we’re seldom seen down the pub
Our schools were the tops and we all went to Ox-
Ford and all joined a “gentleman’s” club!

We’re Bullingdon Buddies
As blue as the blood is
That courses through all of our veins
We’re all well-connected well-bred and selected
For breeding’s much better than brains
We’ve all won life’s lottery
Top of the Tory tree
Taken together a nice little coterie
Dave, George, and Boris of course
The closest of comrades are we
We’re the toffs you can trust
We’re the true upper-crust
Yes the Bullingdon Buddies are we

I’m Bullingdon Davy – I was born in the gravy
Which I ate with that fine silver spoon
I’m related to royalty
So let’s have some loyalty
Yes Boris, I’m looking at you
Though Scots are demurring
Her Majesty’s purring
And I’ll be the first in the line for a sir-ring
I’m Dave, Dave, the union I’ve saved
And those back-bench complaints I shall end ’em
Though the Europhobes cry, they’ll get poked in the eye
When I triumph in my Euro referendum

I’m Bullingdon Georgie
I manage the orgy
Of austerity, clawbacks and cuts
If you want a slasher I out-thatcher Thatcher
Cos I’m the only one with the guts
I’m no namby-pamby
I’m smart as one can be
When you’re clever as me why would you need a Plan B?
I’m George, George, your Chancellor at large
The economy’s safe in my hands
With my money offshore, I can just tax the poor
To provide me a pension as planned

I’m Bullingdon Boris I’ll soon lead the Tories
Yon David has not got a scooby
When I get the Brexit
He’ll make a sharp exit
And look an ridiculous booby
Oh crikey, by Jove, that’s when I make my move,
With the loyal support of my pal Michael Gove,
I’m Boris, Bojo, the man with the mojo
My love-life is none of your biz
Marina and Nelly, and that nice Petronellie
I’m Boris the Bullingdon Wiz

We’re Bullingdon Buddies
As blue as the blood is
That courses through all of our veins
We’re all well-connected well-bred and selected
For breeding’s much better than brains
We’ve all won life’s lottery
Top of the Tory tree
Taken together a nice little coterie
Dave, George, and Boris of course
The closest of pals there can be
We’re the toffs you can trust
We’re the real upper-crust
Yes Bullingdon Buddies are we

© Les Morss