At the time of writing, David Mundell remains the Conservative MP for Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweeddale – the only Tory MP in Scotland. He is popularly known as Paddington Bear and the image – drawn from his own publicity material – perhaps explains why.
To be sung to the tune of the traditional song “Scarborough Fair”
Will you vote for Paddington Bear Cuddly, cute, MP of our time Remember him, the Tory so rare Is he still a favourite of thine?
Solitary Tory in a land faraway Cuddly, cute MP of our time Where will he be after polling day Is he still a favourite of thine?
Prone to speak in lawyer’s clichés Cuddly, cute MP of Tweeddale Smooth as silk, your cares he defrays Yet in the polls continually trails
Smiling, cherubic, his charm never fails Cuddly cute MP of our time But why can’t we export him to Wales? He is ne’er a favourite of mine
Will you vote for Paddington Bear Cuddly, cute, MP of our time Remember him, the Tory so rare Is he still a favourite of thine? © Two Moronnies 2015