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Paddington Bear / Scarborough Fair

At the time of writing, David Mundell remains the Conservative MP for Dumfriesshire, Clydesdale and Tweeddale – the only Tory MP in Scotland. He is popularly known as Paddington Bear and the image – drawn from his own publicity material – perhaps explains why.

To be sung to the tune of the traditional song “Scarborough Fair”

Paddington

Will you vote for Paddington Bear
 Cuddly, cute, MP of our time
 Remember him, the Tory so rare
 Is he still a favourite of thine?
Solitary Tory in a land faraway
 Cuddly, cute MP of our time
 Where will he be after polling day
 Is he still a favourite of thine?
Prone to speak in lawyer’s clichés
 Cuddly, cute MP of Tweeddale
 Smooth as silk, your cares he defrays
 Yet in the polls continually trails
Smiling, cherubic, his charm never fails
 Cuddly cute MP of our time
 But why can’t we export him to Wales?
 He is ne’er a favourite of mine
Will you vote for Paddington Bear
 Cuddly, cute, MP of our time
 Remember him, the Tory so rare
 Is he still a favourite of thine?

© Two Moronnies 2015