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What Ho Missus Brexit!

“What Ho Missus Briskett” is a lovely – but very short- song by Noel Coward that appeared in the revue Cowardy Custard. The assonance between Briskett and Brexit was just too much to resist in the run-up to the Europe referendum so here is our take on the song. Wonderful Donald McGill postcard seems entirely appropriate!

What Ho Mrs Brisket

MissusBrisket2What ho, Mrs Brisket,
Why not take a plunge and risk it?
The water’s warm
There ain’t no crabs
And you’ll have a lot of fun among the
Shrimps and dabs.
If for a lark
Some saucy old shark
Takes a nibble of your chocolate biscuit
Swim for the shore
And the crowd will roar
What ho, Mrs Brisket!

Will we go and vote to risk it?
Take the plunge and force a Brexit?
The time is right
Dave’s up tight
And Boris Johnson’s got him
Firmly in his sights
The Remain campaign
Is it on the wane?
Or is it going to go ballistic?
With Osborne on the floor
The crowd is bound to roar
For Nicola to come and fix it

So go on Mrs Brisket
You know you want a British exit
But if Scotland opts
for a separate deal
And we have to say TaTa to British Steel
If sterling tanks
and the British banks
Decide that they just can’t risk it
Away they’ll flit and we’ll say “Oh…drat..
Now what, Mrs Brisket?”

What ho, Mrs Brisket,
Why not take a plunge and risk it?
The water’s cold
There might be sharks
Are we really going back to francs and marks?
The world’s moved on
You’ll be in a jam
(spoken) You can’t rely on colonies or New Zealand lamb
Just flounder away
and the world will say
“Up yours Mrs Brexit!”

© verses 2-4 Two Moronnies